Random Tips For Dudes

I am a chick who does much myself but has a local dude (dad) who likes to help when he’s helping and, well, sometimes it ain’t entirely helpful. If you’re a chick with such a dude, shh, he means well.  If you’re such a dude, here’s a few that come to mind that might save ya, especially if said chick has carpal tunnel or damaged knee cartilage or both.

  1. If you fill her gas tank, it is not necessary to screw the cap back on hercules tight. You are not impressimg the guys she works with. You are sending her into garage on fumes. And she will look at you the same way the gas station clerk looked at her when she drove off without gas.
  2. If you detach the hose from the outdoor faucet for any reason other than weather,  reattach it.
  3. If my children need a spare key to my house, I will get them one. I like to know when there are keys to my children’s home standing on a pole outside while we’re sleeping.
  4. Lawn mower, see number 1.
  5. Thanks for the car and all, but I can figure out how to work the signals and windshield wiper on my own should it come up.
  6. No, i do not have a plunger for the KITCHEN SINK, and no, do not use the one from your toilet.  NO, DO NOT PUT THAT ON MY COUNTERTOP!!
  7. My newborn is not a basketball. Do not twirl her on your finger and toss her to your bowling buddy.
  8. A good time to change my oil is never as I’m getting out of the shower. Good chance I’m going somewhere and your truck smells like oil and gas (both kinds).
  9. On your way home, grab some beer.  You’re out. 
  10. Also get pizza. You’re beer made me hungry and there’s a toilet plunger blocking my microwave.

Thank you.

No really. Thanks, dad. 

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